Dorothy's Wedding Wednesday: A Relationship 'Air-check'

When was the last time you did this with your partner?

May 9, 2018

Sixty-five days to go!!! First, let me fill you in on what's been going on with the wedding process...

We're a little over 2 months away from our wedding and I have all the big stuff done, now it comes down to the details, like what the groomsmen are going to wear? The one thing Steven was in charge of was picking out the suits for himself and the groomsmen, but he hasn't done it yet! 

Now I am picking up the slack and taking over. LOL. We found a couple of suits that we like through this website called Indochino. Steven's brother was the one who got us onto this site. The groomsmen take their measurements, enter them on the website, then order their suits. They can even get the suit embroidered on the inside. The only thing that has me stressing about the suits is they recommend having the suits ordered at least 3 months in advance, in case anything needs to get sent back for further alteration.

Well, we're now 2 months from the wedding soooooo.....

Hopefully no one will need to send anything back and the suits will arrive in 3-4 weeks like the website says. That's what I've been dealing with over the past few days. 

Anyway, something else that Steven and I did was meet with a minister at the Catholic church near our house. My family is Catholic and it's really important to my parents that our marriage is recognized by the Catholic church, so we're going to do a low-key ceremony the week before our wedding. Part of the process is meeting with the minister and taking a pre-marital class beforehand.

During our first meeting with the minister, he brought up something that really resonated with me. He told me that a lot of times after couples who have been living together get married, the bride comes back with one issue that's really trying on their marriage: Quality time with her husband.

Couples get caught in the normal routine of work, family obligations, kids, friends, but a lot of the time they don't take time for themselves. That really got me thinking about my relationship with Steven. 

We RARELY take time alone. Every weekend is filled with a family party or work or friends, or some event. The last time Steven and I actually did something together, by ourselves, was when we went to Balboa Park after checking out a wedding venue. We walked around a little bit, then stopped and got a beer at Panama 66. We just hung out and talked. It was really nice. That was the first time we did something like that in a looooooooooooong time. 

Our minister recommends that once a week, we make it a priority to spend quality time with each other. It can be anything from taking a walk on the beach to Netflix & chilling or going on a date. Whatever it is, it just needs to happen.

During that time we need to put our phones away so we can really focus on each other and talk about the good/bad things that happened in our relationship that week. Like, 'Hey it really felt good when you did_____' or 'when you said this the other day, it really made me feel crappy because of _____.'

That makes so much sense to me. In radio, we have a thing where you do an "aircheck" with your boss. You sit down, go over your work on-air and talk about what was good, what was bad, and what could use improvement. Having your alone time is like having a relationship aircheck. 

So, from this week on, I told Steven we need to do this to really make sure we have a strong relationship with open communication. Of course, he rolled his eyes because he's a guy and doesn't want to talk feelings, but he agreed to it. No matter how busy our lives get, we'll set aside the time for US.