juvvvv11 Little Tommy Blog:  Deciding On What To Do!

The Jeff and Jer Showgram is part of my life and my family.  I have a great time doing what I do on the air from 6 to 10am with the people that I love Monday through Friday on KyXy 96.5.

BUT, over the last couple of  years, I have been blessed to be able to talk to groups of people about my life and what I have done and what I have seen.

The picture above is from East Mesa Juvenile Detention Center.  That’s me along with ex Padre Steve Finley and skateboard legend Willy Santos.   I love talking to the kids at juvie and I’ve been fortunate to be able to be allowed in to “girl juvie” as well.  

The dilemna I may be facing about whether or not I should keep the counseling job at McAlister despite the long hours is actually a good one to have.  I’m doing the things that I love to do.  From being on the radio in the morning in my hometown to working at McAlister Institute during the day in Chula Vista where I grew up and literally steps away from my mom’s home. 

Unless, I become a famous rock star, counseling kids and talking with adults who want to get clean through recovery and treatment is probably what I’m going to be doing when I grow up.  🙂

The decision that will be made most likely today that will determine whether or not I can continue to work the long hours as of late is nothing to worry about. 

I think I recently became aware of what I truly want to be doing in life.  What I do and who I talk to, isn’t just at McAlister.  I get calls and emails all day long and messages on Facebook all day from people that want to get clean or from their loved ones asking for help.   I get at least one message a day from a complete stranger needing advice and I welcome it, because I love trying to help.

The reason why I can talk and give advice and listen is because I’m no angel.   I started as a young teeenager (barely) and went decades of using and watching friends fall and brothers die.  I have seen it all and through my life and experience, I can talk to anyone about anything when it comes to getting clean and the struggles of addiction and getting to sobriety.

I think the reason why I do this is because I miss my brothers and when I was much younger I had no idea on what to do to help them or myself, but now I think I do and the only way I can deal with the loss of Ray and Frank is to help others.  I see my brothers face everyday when I talk to a group of people.  I see and hear the same stories and see the same look I saw in my brothers so many years ago.  I miss my brothers and maybe that’s one reason why I don’ t mind the long hours and I love the fact that I’m in the heart of Chula Vista where I have all my memories of Ray and Frank. 

rayrobin Little Tommy Blog:  Deciding On What To Do!

tommyskinny Little Tommy Blog:  Deciding On What To Do!

Yesterday, I had a really cool moment happen.  I was on my 30 minute break from work at 6pm and I went to  Jimmy’s for dinner.  The busboy came up to me and said he met before about 2 years ago when his teacher at Castle Park brought him to the radio station to talk to me, because he was messing up.  He shook my hand and told me he was doing well and he told me about how he was doing and told me about his family.  He takes care of his mom and he’s not even 20.  

He asked me about friends he was still seeing and how they are doing bad things.  I spoke to him and gave him advice and then it clicked and a lightbulb truly went on and I realized this was what I was suppose to be doing and this was the town where I was suppose to be doing it in.   CHULA VISTA!

So, today I meet with Jeanne McAlister to get her advice on whether to stay on as a counselor or not.  Whatever she decides I think I will be part of the McAlister family for a very long time.

There is one reason why I wouldn’t mind NOT working those long hours other than being able to see and talk to my kids and my mom more often.  That reason would be I would miss my best friend Anita.

anita6 Little Tommy Blog:  Deciding On What To Do!

I met Clark and Anita Bartram the day before Amber Dubois’ memorial service.  Ever since then, I have been close with their family and I got close with Anita and with Clark’s blessing, she kind of became my best friend.

anita2 Little Tommy Blog:  Deciding On What To Do!

This is Clark and Anita together on the cover of IRONMAN magazine.  You can see why she may like hanging out with me, it’s because Clark and I resemble eachother so much and we have the same build and muscle mass.

The reason why I love Clark and Anita is because one weekend after I first met them, they went to visit my mom.

momma Little Tommy Blog:  Deciding On What To Do!

Many people think when they see me with Anita that she’s my trainer, but she’s not.   She only trains women and Clark only trains men.  That’s a cool agreement they have with eachother.

So, if you’re a woman that wants to talk with Anita about working out, you should send her a message on Facebook.  Search Anita Alvarado Bartram. OR you can email me at tommy@kyxy.com and I will forward the email to her.  Many of my friends already workout with her.  I hope you do too.

anitastevie Little Tommy Blog:  Deciding On What To Do!

As you can see above,  Anita and Stevie Wonder are very close.

I like Anita because she yells at me a lot about stuff going on in my life from the girls I talk to–to things I do on the radio.  One thing I love about Anita is that she has never got on my case at all or even said one word to me when I put on a couple of pounds.  It reminds me that she’s my friend, because she’s my friend.

All this talk about McAlister and finally getting settled in on the radio has got me back to getting excited about THE HOPES AND DREAMS ACADEMY that Clark and I started about one year ago exactly.

In 2010, http://www.hopesanddreamsacademy.com did a lot of stuff for kids that are under privileged in San Diego.  We took so many kids on trips and tours and talked to many kids locked up.

With Clark being so busy and with the Jeff and Jer Showgram getting back on the air, we took a break with Hopes and Dreams, but over the last few weeks, I finally got inspired again to get HOPES AND DREAMS back on track.

juvie1 Little Tommy Blog:  Deciding On What To Do!

Who knows if I will be employed by McAlister at the end of the day as a counselor.  BUT, what’s cool  is that I’m motivated once again to get back to all the projects I had on hold and that also includes my mom’s non profit organization:  http://www.nanaswish.org .

I feel really focused more than ever.  Working long hours is good for the soul.  I appreciated everything about that.  You appreciate a day off more and you appreciate the weekend more when you work non stop and work at a real job.

Remember, if you’re a woman reading this and needing to workout or train with someone, I hope you call on Anita. (Message her on Facebook Anita Alvarada Bartram).  She has the best rates in town and she will work with you on that.  She’s really cool and don’t feel bad if you’re not eating right, because neither does she.    🙂

tommyanitacake Little Tommy Blog:  Deciding On What To Do!

Comments (14)
  1. MARY says:



  2. Sondi Dove says:

    you are an amazing person, the kind the world needs now!


  3. Geri says:

    Tommy ~ you’re on a path and it will all happen the way it’s supposed to happen. Love you & love your blog…tears & chuckles. geri


  4. Sharon says:

    Wow Tommy I’m so proud and thrilled for u.BTW Don’t u just love Flippips in Mira mesa. Its one of my favorites.


  5. Michelle says:

    You are on your way Tommy! I wish you the best in whatever you do. You inspire me to be a better person, thank you!


  6. denise says:

    God will lead you right where you are supposed to be!


  7. Chris says:

    The hardest thing about recovery is finding a new normal, finding new friends and learning to forgive yourself. Tommy, you have found new purpose in life. I have been away from San Diego for a few years so I recently learned about your sobriety. You are in a great position to help troubled people out. Keep fighting the good fight. Hugs,

    Drug free for five years


  8. Michelle Lohlein says:

    You are awesome !!!!! I think your great good luck with everything !!!!! you will find your path……. =0)


  9. Phyllis says:

    Tommy, Have you thought. About being an independent counselor?


  10. Crystal says:

    I read this yesterday, and the 1st thing that came to my mind was “I thought Laura was your best friend”! Then this morning, I hear you 2 talking about this on the air (I only got to hear Laura’s side though). I can definitely see Laura’s concern. It is as if you are trying to make her jealous or mad, based on how much you mention Anita. It seems as if you are obsessed with her! It’s a bit much! You and Laura definitely need to work some things out. Seems like things turn a turn for the worse after “the kiss”.


  11. Richard Hermosillo (Hermo) says:

    Tommy, you keep on working with those kids, When I saw the picture of Ray it brought back the days of CP. He needed help, but who could he turn too. With big hearts like you who care, You will find that will to continue with your GREAT WORK. May the Good Lord always Bless you and your Family.


  12. Tommy says:

    Crystal, Maybe you should comment after you find out what I said and how it ended.


  13. david trejo says:

    hi,little tommy, we have never officially met, but we have talked on the phone before, just when i have won something on the radio. i saw you in line while i waited for tickets for the big party, i noticed you were a million miles a way just like your senior lady date noticed. i konow the only real thing holding you back from going full time counselor is you feel you would be letting the showgram family down especially jeff and jer. i also know your mom and kids will be okay with life without radio. but the true test would be if laura would be willing to move to the next step in life with out your daily support. sorry, it sounded better in my head


  14. Mike says:

    About the best friend topic this morning between Tommy and Laura, here are my 2 cents. By definition, there’s only one best friend (or best anything). So that’s why Laura is upset when Tommy declares that both Anita and Laura are his best friends. I think what Tommy is saying is that Anita and Laura are his best group of friends. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the best), A and L are in the top 2. What I would like to see is the top-10 list that makes someone Tommy’s best friend and see whether Anita or Laura makes Tommy’s best friend. On the other hand, I would feel lucky to be even someone’s number 3 friend. So if I were Tommy, I’d make the top-10 list and decide which one is number 1 (best friend) and which one is number 2. If I were Laura, I’d be happy whether I’m Tommy’s number 1 or 2. All Tommy’s other friends are probably number 5 or lower.


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